Thursday, April 26, 2007

“Where are you spiritually?” What a great question.

I’ve sadly learned how a relationship with Christ can become cyclical ….. thanks to human fault. It’s hard and it’s frustrating, but an inner fire starts brewing and as soon as you feel it, you know you’re in trouble.

I was lying in bed one night a couple months ago, exhausted and on the brink of a deep and ever so sweet slumber when I felt a sweeping sensation over my back. Like a blanket moving swiftly, making sure I was aware of its presence. But by no means was it calming, “I’m here to take care of you” presence. I awoke and was frightened. The next night, I distinctly felt three strong and cold taps on my right shoulder in a vicious attempt to wake me. One hundred thoughts and scenarios ran through my head in a second as to who it could be and what might be going on. My mind settled on the most logical of all; that it was my roommate and she needed my help. I whipped my head around in a panic, no one was there. No one was in my room. My roommate was sound asleep. No guests were staying the night. Yet, I was not alone. I was terrified. “In Jesus’ name … In Jesus’ name …. In Jesus’ name”.

That is when I knew I was in deep trouble, and I needed to get out, fast. I felt it deep down and I know He heard the rumble in my heart, because no longer am I afraid to go to sleep.

What's hard for me is that I feel I do not know nearly enough as I should or want. Learning is my motivation.


“Open my eyes to see wonderful things in your Word. I am but a pilgrim here on earth: how I need a map – and your commands are my chart and guide.” Psalm 199:18